Book Review—The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker
Moving Beyond Pointless Meetings and Creating Spaces That Matter
Let’s face it: most of us spend too many hours in meetings that feel utterly pointless—long, meandering discussions where nothing gets decided, nobody really pays attention, and everyone leaves wondering why on earth they bothered to attend. Meetings like these cause burnout, fuel employee dissatisfaction, and tank productivity. In The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, Priya Parker outlines why so many of our gatherings miss the mark—and, crucially, how we can make them meaningful again.
Below, I’ll explore some of Parker’s core insights within a business context, showing how organizations can reclaim the power of meetings to foster connection, sharpen focus, and actually move the ball forward. Because if you’re going to call your team together—pulling people away from their day-to-day tasks—you want it to count.
1. Why Gatherings Matter (But Often Don’t)
Parker’s fundamental premise is that gatherings are opportunities for intentional human connection and collaboration. But in the workplace, they’re often reduced to routine status checks or, worse, a mindless default on the calendar. Half the time, you see eyes glazing over and smartphones quietly lighting up beneath the table.
When gatherings are treated as a habit rather than a deliberate choice, you lose the trust and energy of the group. People start associating meetings with wasted time. Then, ironically, nobody shows up ready to collaborate or innovate—resulting in more meetings to fix what never got resolved in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle that drains morale and hampers progress.
Key Lesson: If your default question is “Should we schedule a meeting for this?” switch it to “Why do we need to meet, really?” When the answer is fuzzy—or if you don’t have a clear purpose—maybe you don’t need to meet at all.
2. Start With Purpose, Not Format
One of Parker’s central teachings is that the purpose of your gathering should drive every other decision, from who’s invited to the way you structure the event. Yet in many organizations, we pick the format first: “Let’s do a weekly sync every Monday.” Then we scramble to figure out content, participants, or goals.
Parker argues we should flip this on its head: Start with your highest intention for the gathering—perhaps it’s:
Resolving a specific issue,
Brainstorming a new strategy,
Or building trust within a cross-functional team.
Only once you know that why can you determine if a full-team meeting is necessary, which tasks will be tackled, how long it should last, and who legitimately needs to be there.
Practical Tip:
When someone requests a meeting, ask them to articulate the goal in one sentence.
If they can’t do it, hold off.
If they can, use that purpose statement to shape the agenda and invite the right people.
3. Less Is More: The Power of Exclusion
Parker is unafraid to say it outright: Not everyone needs to be invited to every meeting. We often feel pressured to include as many people as possible—just in case. But that quickly leads to Zoom fatigue or “meeting mania,” where half the room is mentally checked out because the topic only tangentially involves them.
Instead, Parker suggests a willingness to be selective:
Only invite individuals who have a direct stake in the outcome or can meaningfully contribute.
Trust those who attend to cascade the relevant points to their teams.
If you do need “read-only” participants for transparency’s sake, give them the option to join only for the parts that matter, or to read the minutes afterward.
In Practice:
Before sending that blanket invite to 20 people, ask yourself: “Who are the 5–7 people most critical for this decision?”
Let everyone else off the hook (politely) to focus on their real priorities.
4. Thoughtful Structure: Crafting the Arc of the Meeting
In The Art of Gathering, Parker emphasizes the importance of structuring a gathering so it has a beginning, middle, and end—a deliberate arc that ushers participants through the experience.
In a business context, that could look like this:
Opening (3–5 mins): Establish the purpose. “Today, we’re here to address the onboarding bottleneck in our new software rollout.”
Middle (bulk of time): Engage the core of the discussion in a meaningful way. If it’s problem-solving, ensure you have a pre-determined method (brainwriting, round-robin, breakouts) rather than letting the conversation spiral.
Conclusion (5–10 mins): Summarize decisions, clarify ownership of next steps, and confirm deadlines. “Okay, John will handle user training materials by next Wednesday. Maria will finalize the roll-out plan for IT by Friday. Next check-in is next Monday at 10 a.m.”
This clarity on structure not only keeps the meeting on track but also gives it momentum—people know where they stand and what’s expected by the end.
5. Creating Meaning and Connection
In typical corporate meetings, it’s easy to ignore the human element—attendees shuffle in, someone drones through a slide deck, and everyone shuffles out. But Parker argues that any gathering, even a 30-minute departmental sync, can be a chance to strengthen relationships and bring teams closer.
Ways to Infuse Humanity:
Check-Ins: Start by asking a simple, relevant question: “What’s the biggest thing on your mind today?” or “What’s a recent success you’ve had—personal or professional?” One minute each.
Acknowledgements: If someone did something notable (landed a big client, fixed a gnarly bug, published a thought-provoking blog), celebrate it briefly.
Shared Norms: Set ground rules, like leaving phones alone during the discussion or ensuring each participant speaks once before anyone speaks twice.
Though these touches may sound “soft,” they drastically change the tone of a meeting, encouraging engagement, respect, and active listening. Over time, they also build deeper connections, meaning people will be more invested in the collective outcome.
6. The Dark Side of Bad Meetings
We’ve all felt the strain of meeting overload—stacked back-to-back Zoom calls, never-ending Slack invites, or “pop-in” gatherings that consume your entire day. These sessions can lead to:
Burnout: When every hour is spent in a low-energy, low-impact meeting, employees don’t have time to do their actual work. Stress compounds, and morale suffers.
Employee Dissatisfaction: People start saying, “Why am I here? This is a waste of time.” A sense of disconnection builds, and top performers may begin looking elsewhere.
Productivity Drop: If no clear decisions are made, you’re essentially paying for an expensive group chat. Projects slip, tasks get deferred, and clarity suffers.
The Art of Gathering reminds us that meetings should be intentional investments. If we’re going to bring people together, it should deliver tangible value—alignment, decision-making, ideation, or relationship-building—not just another hour of overhead.
7. Practical Ways to Apply “The Art of Gathering” at Work
Purpose-Driven Agendas
Make a habit of kicking off each meeting with a crisp statement of purpose. “We’re here to finalize the Q3 product roadmap. If you believe that you should not be in this meeting, please feel free to drop off.”
Use time-boxed agendas so each segment has a specific goal (e.g., 10 minutes to discuss user feedback, 20 minutes to prioritize features).
Empowered Facilitators
Appoint a facilitator responsible for keeping the conversation on track, engaging quieter voices, and shutting down tangents.
This role can rotate, giving everyone a chance to hone their meeting-leading skills.
Narrow the Invite List
Resist the urge to include people who “might need to know.” Share a concise summary post-meeting if necessary.
If you do invite observers, clarify that they can attend only the segment relevant to them.
Creative Formats
Instead of defaulting to a “roundtable status update,” experiment with breakout groups, lightning presentations, or a “fishbowl” discussion format.
Keep it fresh—people pay more attention when a meeting format deviates from the norm.
Strong Closing & Follow-Up
End every meeting with clear outcomes: Who’s doing what by when? When’s the next checkpoint?
Summarize via email or Slack soon after, so accountability is transparent and no action item slips through the cracks.
8. Final Thoughts: Meetings as Craft
Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering invites us to see every gathering as a creative act—one that can either waste our time or transform our shared purpose. In a business setting, applying her principles can help us weed out needless meetings and elevate the ones that remain.
When you hold a meeting, hold it with intention. Ask yourself:
Is this necessary?
What do we need to achieve?
Who specifically needs to be here?
How can we shape this gathering so people feel engaged and walk away with clarity and momentum?
Ultimately, it comes down to respecting people’s time and intelligence. Our workplaces thrive when we communicate effectively, make decisions thoughtfully, and encourage genuine human connection. Parker’s book serves as a vivid reminder that good meetings don’t have to be a pipe dream. They just require us to pause, reexamine our approach, and design gatherings that truly matter. After all, if we’re going to spend so much time in “rooms” together (virtual or otherwise), we might as well do it right.