Book Review—Who Not How by Dan Sullivan & Dr. Benjamin Hardy
The Question That Changed Everything
There’s a moment every ambitious person hits—when your dreams outgrow your calendar. You’ve got the ideas, the goals, the vision. But not enough time. Not enough bandwidth. Not enough energy to do it all.
That was me a few years ago.
I’d just stepped into a new leadership role. I was pumped. Motivated. Ready to build. But I was also overwhelmed. My default mode was still: How do I figure this out? How do I make this happen? Late nights. Long weekends. Buried under to-dos.
Then I stumbled across Who Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy—and it hit me right where it hurt.
The premise is simple but powerful:
Stop asking “How?” and start asking “Who?”
Instead of obsessing over how to execute every detail of your vision, find the Who—the person who already has the expertise, the experience, or the time to do it better, faster, and with less friction.
That idea rewired how I think about leadership, delegation, and even creativity.
🧠 Why “How” Holds Us Back
There’s a line early in the book that stopped me in my tracks:
“How is a question that immediately puts a weight on your shoulders. Who is a question that immediately lifts it.”
If you’re like me, your instinct is to white-knuckle your way through challenges. A new problem pops up? Roll up your sleeves and grind. We’re wired to believe growth comes from acquiring more skills, learning more tools, doing more ourselves. “How” becomes our knee-jerk response.
And sure, “How” feels productive. You’re solving problems. You’re hustling. You’re Googling like a boss.
But “How” can also trap you. It keeps you stuck in the weeds. It turns big ideas into bottlenecks. And it limits your impact to the size of your own capacity.
Case in point: I was once trying to revamp our onboarding program. I kept asking myself: How do I build the framework? How do I create the training materials? How do I run the sessions?
Then I remembered the book—and shifted the question: Who can help me do this better and faster than I can on my own?
That one pivot unlocked the project. I pulled in our enablement lead, a couple of brilliant CSMs, and a designer from marketing. It went from a solo grind to a team win.
💡 The Core Idea: Free Yourself by Finding the Right “Who”
Sullivan introduces the concept of “Unique Ability”—that one thing you do exceptionally well that creates outsized results. Hardy builds on it by showing how focusing on your “Who” keeps you in that zone, while empowering others to thrive in theirs.
A perfect example: When Sullivan had the idea for this book, he didn’t try to write it himself. He partnered with his “Who”—Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Dan brought the vision and framework; Ben brought the structure, storytelling, and writing chops.
Together, they turned the idea into a finished book in months. If Dan had tried to do it alone? It might’ve taken years… or not happened at all.
That story hit home.
So many of us delay the things we care about—writing that book, launching that idea, building that app—because we’re stuck asking How do I start?
But that’s not the real question. The real question is:
Who can I bring into this vision so it actually gets done?
🛠 Four Ways to Start Applying “Who Not How”
Whether you’re a team lead, founder, parent, or student, this idea applies immediately. Here’s how to start:
Audit Your “Hows”
Make a quick list of the things you’ve been sitting on because they feel too big or complicated. Ask yourself: “What’s really stopping me?” Chances are, it’s a How problem. Flip it into a Who.Instead of: How can I build this landing page?
Try: Who can help me build this landing page this week?Define Your Unique Ability
What’s the work that energizes you? That you’re great at? That drives real results? Spend more time there. Delegate the rest—even if it’s just 10% more this month than last.Build Your “Who Rolodex”
Start keeping a list of people you can collaborate with, hire, or consult—freelancers, teammates, friends, mentors. You don’t need a big budget. Sometimes your “Who” is a talented intern, a friend with a niche skill, or a $50 freelancer on Fiverr.Flip the Script at Work
If you manage a team, stop being the hero. Be the connector. When someone brings you a problem, don’t default to solving it. Ask: Who on our team is best positioned to lead this? That one question builds capability, trust, and speed.
🔑 Three Lessons That Stuck With Me
Your Genius Is Someone Else’s Grind
That task you dread? There’s someone out there who loves it—and does it better. Don’t be a martyr. Find your Who.Collaboration > Control
Letting go doesn’t mean losing control—it means gaining momentum. Trust unlocks speed, creativity, and scale.Time Isn’t the Goal. Impact Is.
One of my favourite lines from the book:
“The purpose of the goal is not the goal itself. The purpose of the goal is who you become in the process.”
And you become a better version of yourself when you build with others.
🙋🏽♂️ Real Talk
If you’re someone who prides themselves on being the go-to problem solver, this mindset might feel awkward at first. It did for me. You’ll worry about quality, about losing control, about staying sharp.
But Who Not How isn’t about doing less. It’s about doing what only you can do—with more clarity, purpose, and impact.
It’s not a book about shortcuts. It’s a book about building a career—and life—that actually scales.
🎯 Final Thought
Here’s the simplest way I can sum it up:
You’re not lazy for asking for help.
You’re strategic.
So this weekend, as you’re thinking about that big idea you’ve been putting off—maybe it’s not too complex. Maybe you’ve just been asking the wrong question.
Try this instead:
Who can help me bring this to life?
And if you haven’t read Who Not How, I highly recommend it. Not because it’s filled with hacks, but because it offers a shift in thinking that can unlock a whole new way of working.